Beyond Reason
by adrynnXadrenaline
Summary: Basically Death Note through Beyond Birthday's point of view. So it's a view of life through a psychopaths if that's what you want call it eyes. :D
1. Chapter 1

What was I supposed to do? I was paranoid. I could not help it. It was hers. It was her fault! I do not understand what she meant, how she figured it out. The blood lust was unbearable. It was almost as if she could see into my soul through my eyes. Everything she said was true. It was disturbing. It was something I could not figure out. How could she?

At night I can still see her. She was beautiful. Stunning in fact. She had smooth ivory skin with just a touch of blush beneath the surface of her cheeks. She was slender, but short, with a perfect figure. But something about her that bothered me. Her eyes.

They were an eerie whitish-gray with a hint of blue. Or were they a whitish-blue with a hint of gray? I was never completely sure. All I know is that they were haunting. As compelling as they were they were almost devoid of emotion. Even as—I will get on to THAT later, but damn she was masochistic. Probably a sadist. The strangest person I have ever met. Yet also my would-be best friend...

At Wammy's house I suppose I was pretty bright. My grades were nearly top-notch. My best friend was... Different. A. A did well as well, but there was always something missing. It was not that I loved A or anything, A was just my best friend. I think. Right now I am not sure of anything.

A and I were always together. A and B. The first to letters of the alphabet... There was no relevance but I always liked to tell myself that. We would always be together. We could never be apart. Even if we were away from each other, in the end A and B would be together...

Right then, I remembered again.

I thought about it.

I almost wanted to cry.

My best friend was gone.

Dead.

A committed suicide, A didn't even tell me why!! No note. Nothing. A was just gone, at which point I ran away. I could not stay at Wammy's without A. I think I became emotionally unstable. So I just left.

After A's death something rather peculiar happened. My once clouded eyes began to see. They saw such wretched things, it was almost unbearable. The life I once could barely see was now visible. I could see through the red light, the color that shielded my eyes, the only thing my eyes had ever really seen. I could finally see the world around me clearly.

One more thing.

I could see death.

At first, I thought I was insane, I felt like a stalker. I knew their names. All of them. Every one...

But then...

They started to fall at my feet... those dates... that strange time... the people around me began to fall! I desperately searched my own reflection for answers, but found none. The people around me continued to fall. It was not THAT that nearly pushed me over the edge thought. It was...

Locke.

Locke – the reason I regretted leaving Wammy's, at least at first.

Locke, tall, pale, hooded – glowing red embers as eyes.

It was some ghastly horror, so I thought. I was alone in England. In an empty, devoid, city. No one was out that day.

I must have looked too closely or something, either way, that THING approached me.

"You, you are—"

I cringed. I could not listen to my name.

"Well then. This is interesting. You're afraid. Aren't you?" that _thing_ asked me.

"Who – what – are you?" my eyes were wide.

"Locke," it spat, "and clearly _you_ don't wish for me to address you by your real name. What then, pray tell, shall I call you?"

"B." I was confused. What the hell was this thing?

"I've been looking for you... B." it said.

"You've what...?!" "I am a shinigami, B. You have been blessed... or cursed... to have been born with a shinigami's eyes.

"A shinigami's eyes...? I'm drawing a blank. What do you mean?"

Locke, the shinigami, raised its skeletal finger to point at me.

"You, B, can see the names and life spans of every human being – excluding your own."

Oh... well that answers—

"I knew you would be wondering as to why you couldn't see a date above your own head."

I stared blankly at Locke. This was insane.

Shinigami? Like I have ever bought that shit. Hah. This was some jackass pulling some sort of prank; but then again, how would he know?

Locke lifted his hood, pulling it back from his face. When the shroud was gone, I could see his so-said face.

Locke had a crooked neck and spine; and a diamond-shaped skull. Its glowing red eyes now showed black. He had fanglike "teeth" that hung over where his bottom lip would be, and a row of sharp, spiky bone running down his vertebrae. Large, heavy, lead locks adorned his neck, hanging from an industrial, titanium chain.

Shadows seeped out from beneath his black shroud. As Locke lowered his hand, smaller locks began to fall to the ground, out of his long sleeves, dangling from more chains. They jingled whenever he so much as breathed.

"I don't—You shouldn't—Can't other people see you?"

"No. Only those who have either touched my death note or someone with a shinigmi's eyes. And YOU are the only one who has ever been born with shinigami eyes."

"Why was I...? Was I chosen?"

"Heh, normally it would be arrogant for someone to think that a shinigami actually chose a human; but in your case, yes, you were chosen. You were chosen to do... great... things."

"What kind of things? And what is a death note?"

"Hmm... That is for you to figure out. And a death note is of no consequence to you."

"Then why did you mention it?"

"You asked about the circumstances surrounding the ability for humans to see shinigami. I merely answered. I owe you nothing. Do not make the mistake of believing that I am here to help you. I am in this for my own benefit, for my life. I am eternally chained into this."

"Chained into what?"

"What if I said that it was... A's choice?"

"Ah...ah... A?" I stumbled backwards.

"Haha, what if A asked me to watch over you?"

"Then... Then... A still cared about me? Why did A commit suicide then?"

"Death is a funny thing, _Beyond_," Locke mocked me, "It wasn't A, Beyond. My reasons, as I have previously stated, are what you humans would call 'none of your business.'" He snapped.

Okay? Apparently even after death someone can still be as...Hmm; how to put this? Someone or thing can be as stuck up?, possibly, as they were before they died.

"Then why did you come to find me? Did you think I wouldn't be curious? Why bother sticking around. Just go back to the shinigami realm or whatever."

"Like I said, I am here for my own benefit, for my life."

"Yeah, right. Shinigami have lives. Bullshit."

"You would be surprised. We have to extend our lives, the time we have left by writing humans' names in our death notes—damn...."

"You write human's names in the death note? What do they do? Do they....?"

"Never mind."

"Fine."

I turned and walked away, shaken. He didn't really tell me why he had to find me. Was he going to follow me? Look for me again?

Christ.

This was all too much.

Once I was a good distance away from our initial meeting place, I looked back. Locke was right behind me.

"Do you have a problem?"

"..."

"Why are you following me?"

"I told you."

"What the hell? Go away."

"As much as I would like to... I cannot oblige. I have to stay with you."

"Seriously? Get real. Get out. Go away."

"Hmm, are you always so easily annoyed?"

"DAMN IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"You don't even want to know how you got the eyes?"

"No! And if you have to follow me everywhere just shut up and don't talk to me!"

"Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

I trudged home. Locke did NOT leave me alone. He taunted me the whole way home.

"God damn it! Shut the f*ck up Locke!"

"Hehe, you are such an emotional human..."

"And you're such a f*cked up shinigami!"

"Really? How many shinigami have _you_ known?!"

"God damn it!" I swore I would never talk to this damn shinigami again. I went about my daily woes ignoring Locke. I would not even look at him. I dragged my feet along everywhere I walked. I was walking to the library at this moment. I wanted to read up on shit about shinigami. I wanted to try to get rid of Locke...

When I arrived at the library I scoured the shelves for anything whatsoever about shinigami. I gave up after I was on my third round. I found the librarian and asked for his assistance.

"Could you assist me in pointing out where there may be some books about shinigami? I am afraid that I couldn't find any."

"Well, where did you look? Did you consult the card catalogue on the computer?" he asked.

"All over the nonfiction section. Three times."

He laughed at me, "nonfiction? Yeah, right. Try the fiction section kid. They are purely fictional. Why in the world would books about shinigami be in the nonfiction section?"

I glared at this librarian, infuriated; I was not a stupid kid. If he could see Locke, what would he say? He would eat his words.

"Fine. I'll go look."

"Ahem?" he cleared his throat.

"Er, thanks." I grunted. I should not have to put up with him. I was at least 215.1357729 times smarter than him. I stalked to the fiction section quickly, picking up ever single book about shinigami that I saw. I then turned and found a table, crouching on the chair so that my attentiveness and deductive reasoning would be raised by roughly 73.9901275604 %.

I skimmed the pages rapidly, comprehending all of the information. The people who wrote these books sounded crazy, probably like I would sound if I told people about Locke.

"Shinigami must follow you until you give up the death note, or die," "Shinigami write names in their death notes to extend their lives," "Humans who have used the death note can neither go to heaven nor hell..." Nothing about Shinigami eyes. Perhaps no one else has had them? Who wrote these books anyway? They did sound fantastic the way they were written.

"Find anything interesting, Beyond?"

I ignored Locke and stood up. I did not have a library card, I realized. Everything I had ever needed had been provided at Wammy's, or A would have given it to me.

I slid the books into my case, the one I had been carrying around for days.

No way in hell did Wammy's miss me...

But I missed A... and as far as anyone else was concerned? I missed the company of people such as Matt and possibly Near as well.

I moved to leave, but Locke cut in front of my. I stumbled slightly.

"I asked a question, Beyond."

"Stop calling me that!" I lashed out.

"Heh, you don't deserve my respect. I asked you a question."

"Fine then! No, I didn't find anything you hadn't already told me!"

A man crouched in front of the shelf adjacent to the place where I stood stared at me wearily. I glared murderously back, mostly at Locke, but I loathed the idea of people staring at me when I did not want attention. If looks could kill, mine were slaughtering the people around me.

Reflecting upon this now, I must have sounded schizophrenic. I mean, really, shouting, "Stop calling me that!," and "...nothing you hadn't already told me," to seemingly nothing – thin air – people must have wondered.

Anyway, enough of my mindless rambling, back to what is important; I stormed out of the library, deciding that I wanted people to notice me. I was enjoying the attention for the moment. It felt good. Normally, I was not one to be strutting along, center stage – nor did I know that later on that would be one of my goals, so to speak. Maybe even my parents would be proud, given if they were still living. I can vaguely recall knowing the dates and times that my mother and father were going to die. My dad – murder; my mom – train wreck. This was when my vision blurred and I lost my sight. I could not watch the world through my eyes any longer. Hah, my parents told me to be original? Try knowing – no seeing – death. Damn they'd be proud. Having a son with a shinigami's eyes, try that on for size. Who else do you know that can "see?"

Originality, one of the reasons why I ran away.

My predecessor...

L.

The man I was supposed to be a copy of, a clone. Would one not want to rebel? Why would one want to be a copy? Would you not one to prove everyone wrong? Be the opposite of what you were expected to be? Surpass the original. I certainly wanted to. Maybe I could use these eyes... I could... _beat_... L. What would the rest of Wammy's think of me then?

Haha, it would be GREAT! I could have the complete focus of L. He would not be able to figure out... Wait! Figure out what?

What if... What if I became the greatest criminal in the world? I could create an unsolvable case for L. I would be defeating him in that case. Yes. It was so simple. With a brain, a thought process, like L's and everyone else's at Wammy's I was sure to be a talented criminal at least. Those who are not as smart will always make a slip up. To create an unsolvable case, I would have to choose all of my victims beforehand. I could not make it up as I went along. I would defeat L. And I already knew who my final victim would be...

No, not L.

Definitely not L.

I want him to live knowing that he could not solve a case he took on.

The last victim?

Inquiring minds would devour this information. So I will tell you.

B.B.

Beyond Birthday.

Me.


End file.
